Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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