Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
