hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
