Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
