i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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