If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
