I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
When are your genitals available?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
