don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
