He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
