at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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