i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
