sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
