I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
