At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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