He disabled his match.com account in front of me
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
