wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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