it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
