She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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