Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
she told me i tasted like america
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
