I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
