Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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