shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
