how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
