Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The feeling are messing with the penis
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
