apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
