I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Do vagina's smell?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
