sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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