there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
