He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize