What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
