Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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