we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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