her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
