im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
he puts the penis in happiness.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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