I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
