he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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