she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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