Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
