for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
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But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
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Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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