I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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