Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
