I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
