its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
