your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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