I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Terrible idea I love it
We are all done wearing pants today
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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