After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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