She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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