4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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