At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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