She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
