Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
