i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
