i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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