Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Dick very happy bro
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
