Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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