Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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