ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
