We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm at about main and main street
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
