I wish I could punch you in the face.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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