you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
