Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
