wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
