I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
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Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
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bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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